The Way It Should Be

Life is not fair. It never has been. It probably never will be. But this is how it should be:
When you get up in the morning, there should be sunshine and birds chirping and all that crap.
You shouldn't ever have to change the batteries in anything.
People won't cut you off or flip you the bird when you get on the freeway.
Your boss should always give you a raise and tell you how good you're doing.
Your kids should discipline and feed themselves.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend will always love what you get them.
Your parents will never be mad at you because you just don't screw up that much.
Dieting should be outlawed.

Just how it should, could, would be. . .