Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Why Why Why

Why why why? That is my question for you today. Why do things always happen at the most inconvenient time? Imagine this: it's time for your shower. Ah, the shower! That wonderful, soothing, relaxing, replenishing place. You've been looking forward to this shower all day long, and finally it's here! You make the proper adjustments to the water temperature(a little left, wiggle the hot knob a bit, press down on the cold. . .), you put everything in its proper place, and finally, you step in. Now you just stand for a bit, allowing the billowing steam to wash away the physical stresses and tensions of the day. Then you whip out the shaving cream and lather up those spikey legs. You're immensly enjoying your shower and you've just finished with the last leg and are about to rinse when you hear these chilling words: "Amber!!!! Turn off the shower!!!!" You quickly respond in accordance and hollar back, inquiring as to what's going on? Then your mother informs you that the hot water heater is precariously leaning outside its confinement and that there is no water presently. You accept this with an exasperated sigh and settle down for the wait. After time and banging around outside the house, the phone rings unexpectedly(why tonight of all nights??). You yell out a warning, are unanswered, and so haul yourself out to answer the call. While you are on the phone, your mother rushes in and orders you to "help me hold on to this rope". You grab ahold and get a grip that you feel would put any man to shame. After a bit, your fingers turn gray from lack of blood, and finally your father comes in to drill the rope to the wall in order to hold the water heater up. Finally it is all over. But wait! You cannot finish this your beloved shower because the meager amount of existing hot water must be reserved for your sweaty father. And so, the next day, you get up, run a comb through your greasy-looking, toothpaste-feeling hair and head in to school to explain why you look so humiliatingly awful.
There is a moral to this story:
Never put off until tomorrow what you can wash today!!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

The Benefits of Having a Brain

I have discovered that there are several benefits to having a brain, and I have decided to list a few of them for your knowledge.
When you have a brain:
1) You remember your user name and password to the blog you created about 5 months ago and haven't updated since.
2) People won't have to ask you annoying things like "Why didn't you think of it?" because you have, in fact, thought of it.
3) You can pass REVIEW tests with more than a 68%.
4) You have time to do chores and clean your room and watch tv and keep up with a social life and correspondance.
5) You remember where you hid your chapstick. . .