Goodness, I haven't posted in ages! I feel like I've been neglecting a pet. Well, much has changed for me in the past few months: got a job, quit a job, started college, realized I hate it. That's essentially where I am now.
I started college with the best intentions and high hopes. Now here I am, completely miserable and ready to give up entirely. It's been nothing but a nightmare for me since week 1. I think the biggest problem is the program I am in: graphic designer, I am not. I can't live with all these measurements and lines and angles. It's too ordered, too perfect. I need a little chaos in my life. I've discovered that I live on it, it's a huge part of me. There's no point in trying to make everything perfect, it's obviously not going to happen, so why not learn to love the imperfections? Isn't that what makes us all human, all different?
I've been trying to decide what to change my major to, and I've so far come up with film studies or creative writing. Good options, no doubt, but I have another problem: I hate it here. I hate the towns, I hate the land, I hate the cars, I hate the dirt, I hate most of the people's rotten attitudes towards one another, I hate the small-mindedness of it all. It makes me so angry I could scream. I just want out!
So now I come to the fork in the road: do I stay and make my life in this little podunk nothing of a place? or do I run for it and fly as far as my wings will take me? I think I already know my own answer. Now I just need to get my feathers in order.