Friday, October 13, 2006
Classmates. The people you grow up with. The people you laugh at. The people you hang out with. The people you love to hate. There's always that one person you just can't stand. That one person who seems to be the thorn in everybody's side. Occasionally you feel a bit of sympathy for this person, but it never seems to last more than a second or two. The things they do? Oh, the things they do. Let's say that this person is a male. Let's call him Chad. Chad is not the smartest person, and you were at first more than willing to over look that. But Chad is constantly reminding you of this in those exact words. Then there's gym class. Chad would be a pleasant classmate if he didn't treat his fellow slaves as if they were linebackers on the opposing team. Chad often is running over them(please note: they have no padding) and hitting them, occasionally kicking them and often smacking up against them so that his excess of sweat rubs off on them. That would be the other and final thing about Chad. He has some issues with personal heigene. Note to Chad: soap is good. Soap is our friend. We love soap. And the washer can be used by someone without breasts. It's ok to do laundry. It actually attracts women when men do laundry. Or comb their hair. Or wear deoderant. Just a suggestion or two. Chad also has horrible pickup lines and needs to learn that you can't just ask a classmate out without a bit of sucking up. Let's face it, everyone has to play the suck-up at one point or another. Just another truth in the vicious circle of life. So, if Chad ever happens to read this, hopefully he will take this advice to heart. It just might make his existence a bit more bearable.