She was lying on the floor, letting the carpet melt into her skin, trying not to think about his face. Or his smile. Or his vioce. The music thudded around her, the bottles vibrating a little across the bar with each bass beat. A tear she couldn’t stop rolled down her cheek and before she knew it her eyes were wet. Her shoulders shook as she let the flood consumer her. Why couldn’t he see? She’d never done anything but love him. What was the crime in that? She might as well have been invisible to him. What was the point in running this race if you had no one to help you? What was the point? Her drunken mind clung to that question. She used it to drag herself off the floor and across the room to the sliding door. Out onto the balcony. She was 15 stories up. Usually she wouldn’t get a room so far up, but there hadn’t been any others available. She supposed now it came in handy. The cars far below scurried around like rats in a maze. She could imagine the people within them, wrapped in their safe little steel and plastic boxes, not thinking about anyone but themselves. Not knowing that far above them, someone else was losing grip.
She grabbed the railing of the balcony and pulled herself up, steadying her feet on the brick. The tears hadn’t stopped,making her cheeks slick and hot, and she had no intention of letting them stop. Her vision was blurring and the mascara running down her face was making her eyes burn. But none of it compared to her chest tearing in half. Each beat of her heart made her throat tighten and her skin tingle. It beat so strongly, and oh how she hated it. How she wanted it to cease it’s agonizing rhythm. She was so close now, the cool night breeze tousling her hair and calling her to fly with it.
She thought again of him, of his face and his wonderfulness. Then she thought of the people in their boxes, and how they would envy her in her freedom. She let go of the railing. If only they knew how it felt to fall.
*I would like to say, this in no way reflects my current thoughts, feelings, or intentions. Inspiration hit, and this is what I got, so don't worry! Just an exercise in creativity =]